Things that are bullshit in Greek mythology-based fiction stories:
- TREATING ROMAN AND GREEK GODS AS THE SAME OR EQUIVALENT: fuuuuuck you there were many, many differences between the Greek and Roman Gods, your stupid little middle school class lied. Apollo and Apollon are nigh identical but basically everyone else is very different. Athena is not Minerva, Artemis is not Diana, Ares is not Mars. Haides doesn’t even HAVE a similar Roman deity.
- Pluto as a Roman deity: yo Pluto/Plouton wasn’t Roman Pluto was another GREEK name for the GREEK god Haides (who you call Hades) Pluto/Plouton is what you call him when you’re talking about him being the God of riches and treasure like how you sometimes call Apollo Phoebus.
- Apollo as the sun/driver of the sun chariot: That’s Helios, Helios and Apollo weren’t syncretized into the same deity until long, long after ancient Greece. As in, hundreds of years after Jesus. Don’t be historically inaccurate. Only assholes are historically inaccurate.
Note: also goes for Artemis as the moon. Selene is the moon.
- Kronos as monstrous lava monster demon thing: the Titans were always depicted as beautiful humanoid beings, just as the Gods were.
- Ares as villain/asshole/thug/misogynist/shitty parent: being in charge of an unpopular subject matter does not make a God the scum of the earth, or abusive, or neglectful. Ares was particularly notable for being a devoted father to his offspring and is one of the few Gods without a rape story. Longer explanation of this subject here.
- Aphrodite as slut: no, really, fuck you. Fuck you and everything you love. Fuck your horse, fuck your family, fuck your ancestors, fuck everything you’ve ever touched.
- Haides as the devil/the Underworld as Hell: the Greek afterlife was for most deceased mortals a relatively peaceful eternity, without fire and torment and misery. Haides was considered a God to be respected for his power and solemnity, but that does not equate to considering him evil or terrible.
- Hera as a jealous bitch: yo Hera was one of the most widely worshiped and beloved deities in the pantheon. Stop taking the Iliad as holy writ, Homer had a noted bias atypical to the traditional mythology.
- anyone but Bellerophon or Zeus using Pegasus/more than one Pegasus in your story/anyone but Theseus killing the Minotaur/anyone but Perseus killing Medusa/anyone but Hercules killing the Boar, Lion, Hydra, etc/Perseus as son of any god but Zeus: dude read a book some time y’all need to get your stories straight Greek heroes aren’t interchangeable also fuck that Percy Jackson son of Poseidon bullshit you are being a moron. Also, Pegasus, singular. One. Solo. Pegasus is an individual “person.” There are not “pegasi”. That’s like saying Zeuses. Or Athenas. Or Poseidons.
- The entire contents of the Clash of the Titans films: just stop. Please. Stop.
- other Gods being able to defeat Zeus: yo Zeus once demolished a rebellion by the other Gods and is known to be more powerful than the other Olympians combined.
- Stories set in modern times whose plots rely on pretending modern pagans don’t exist: don’t give me this “I HAVE TO CLIMB OLYMPUS TO CONTACT THE GODS” bullshit I have three fucking shrines in my bedroom alone
- Hekate with kids or as an old woman: virgin goddess, guys, virgin goddess.
- Prometheus as hating humans: listen asshole Prometheus was tortured for millenia for how much he cared about humans don’t be a dick to Prometheus do you hear me I will cut a bitch
- Hermes the meanie trickster bully: yo Hermes was called the Friend of Man just because he’s a trickster doesn’t make him malicious
- Athena with a ton of kids: VIRGIN. GODDESS. Oh and you want to trot out that “but they’re BRAIN children!” claim? When Athena was born from Zeus’ head, it’s because he ATE her mother. If you’re going to claim Athena’s children were brain babies I want to see your book mention her eating humans. Go on. I dare you.
- Artemis the man-hater: yo she’s the goddess of hunting who do you think did the most hunting OH RIGHT MEN
- Dionysus as some old fat alcoholic dude: dude this is a sculpture of Dionysus what is wrong with you people
- Bonus for the Egyptian pantheon: calling Egyptian gods by Greek names (Thoth instead of Djehuty, Anubis instead of Anpu, etc).
((if you reblog, PLEASE REBLOG AS TEXT, NOT AS LINK. Go to the gear symbol in the upper right when you reblog and click text. That will stop your pesky auto-truncate problem. Sorry, that just drives me nuts))
Once again, soloontherocks is eloquent on the subject of ‘how the fuck did you come to that conclusion’ involving Greek Gods.
I’m still fucking pissed off about the Hera and Dionysus bullshit. Never not angry about that.
do you remember the scene where Steve shows page from his notebook with all the things he missed while he’d been napping? so, this page is different for Russia. here it is
moreover, I found another 7 versions.
version for South Korea
page for France
list for Spain
quite interesting, isn’t it? let me know if there are other versions)
update! Australian list (via idkvader)
I don’t know what asshole invented the idea that teenage girls are the cause for all evil, but I really hope that person never has to raise one. I don’t want him to see her dissolve in his fingers as society tells her to eat less, be thinner, be the damsel in distress, be something for a man to fix, be different but not too different, be special but never ever a special snowflake - I don’t want him to watch as she realizes that no matter what she loves, she’ll be made fun of for it. She can simply like her coffee from Starbucks and suddenly she’s vapid and thinks herself poetic. She’ll want to play video games but be called a fake nerd, particularly if she poses in any remotely flirtatious way because for some reason despite the entire community playing games with poorly dressed women they still hate it when a real girl wears less clothing, she will be seen as trespassing in a specifically male space - but when she falls in love with a female-based television show for children, she’ll watch as men step on themselves to sexualize it. If she wants old-fashion romance she’s seen as being naive but at the same time is told to keep herself ‘pure’ for some dude that might not hurt her. If she admits to being anything, she makes herself a target. She will be told her worth is based on how much a man values her. She might love to cook but she’ll hate being asked to stay in the kitchen, she might love to read but get told she’s too introverted by half the population and ‘not that special’ by the other. If she loves to go out and party, she’s ‘just another college co-ed,’ if she loves to spend her friday nights watching anime, she’s a shut-in. God forbid she be proud of something: the words “I’m different from other girls” are a death sentence because we live in a society that doesn’t want to see women like that, a society that doesn’t like the idea maybe we all are actually different and not carbon copies of each other, maybe we all would like to feel unique and loved and worth knowing - maybe the real problem is that she will be raised to believe being a girl means silicone and photoshop and dying as a way to move forwards a plot - and she doesn’t want to be seen as that. When she says “I’m not like other girls,” she means she’s not like the girls she sees on tv, these invented two-dimensional creatures that say one line and then get chased down by monsters.
She can try all she likes. She’ll be shut down at every single fucking turn. What she doesn’t know is that they’re getting her ready for when she’s grown up because she’ll be so used to being stepped on she’ll just give up. Why respect women when you don’t even respect little girls?
And when she is burning up, when she mentions that her insides are volcanoes and her skin is too thin to contain them: she will be told she is hysterical, that she’s doing it for attention.
I don’t want him to watch as she shuts down, as she learns to live as a paradox, I don’t want him to see her rip herself to shreds in order to be perfect, I don’t want him to realize that there’s no way she’ll get help because she’s only doing what she’s told.”
#tbh my favourite part about this is how scott doesn’t even look happy in the last frame #just resigned #like: #did i really just check out derek hale’s ass? #did i really just find him attractive? #fuck #i did (via clavicularity)
*taps toes plays panflute*
“It is a curious thing, but perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it. Those who, like you, have leadership thrust upon them, and take up the mantle because they must, and find to their own surprise that they wear it well.”
-JK Rowling, Deathly Hallows
u know when u really like someone and literally every little thing they do is cute and no matter what face they make they always look perfect to you
Sigur Rós cover The Rains of Castamere for Season 4 of HBO’s Game Of ThronesAnd so he spoke, and so he spoke,
that Lord of Castamere,
But now the rains weep o’er his hall,
with no one there to hear.
Yes now the rains weep o’er his hall,
and not a soul to hear.
"There were things I wanted to tell him. But I knew they would hurt him. So I buried them, and let them hurt me." — Jonathan Safran Foer